Brace yourselves, car enthusiasts – the BMW M5 Touring is back, and it’s bringing a whole lot of everything to the table. I recently had the chance to get behind the wheel of a prototype, and let me tell you, this isn’t your grandpa’s station wagon. No sir, this is a fire-breathing, tire-shredding monster disguised as a family hauler.
First things first, let’s address the elephant in the room – or should I say, the elephant on the road. This thing is massive. We’re talking about a car that tips the scales at a whopping 2.5 tonnes. That’s right, this “hot estate” weighs about as much as a small rhinoceros. But don’t let that fool you into thinking it’s slow. Oh no, quite the opposite.
Under the hood, BMW has stuffed in their latest iteration of the 4.4-liter twin-turbo V8, now with hybrid assistance. The result? A power output that’s rumored to be north of 700 horsepower. Seven hundred. In a station wagon. What a time to be alive, folks!
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Now, you might be wondering, “How does a car this heavy handle all that power?” Well, that’s where BMW’s engineering wizardry comes into play. Despite its heft, the M5 Touring manages to dance around corners with surprising agility. It’s like watching a sumo wrestler perform ballet – it shouldn’t work, but somehow it does, and it’s oddly mesmerizing.
The all-wheel-drive system does a phenomenal job of keeping all that power in check. You can feel it working overtime to ensure that every single one of those 700+ horses is translated into forward momentum rather than tire smoke. Although, if you’re feeling particularly brave (or silly), you can switch it into rear-wheel-drive mode and pretend you’re a drift king. Just make sure you’ve got plenty of space and a good insurance policy.
Inside, it’s typical BMW M luxury. The seats hug you tighter than your grandmother at Christmas, the steering wheel is chunky enough to make you feel like you’re piloting a spaceship, and there are enough buttons and screens to make a jet pilot feel at home. But remember, this is still a Touring model, which means practicality hasn’t been completely sacrificed at the altar of performance. The boot is cavernous, perfect for hauling groceries, luggage, or the egos of the sports car drivers you’ve just embarrassed at the stoplight.
Speaking of embarrassing other drivers, the acceleration of this behemoth is nothing short of breathtaking. Flooring the throttle feels like being strapped to a rocket – a very luxurious, leather-clad rocket. The surge of power is relentless, pushing you back into your seat with enough force to rearrange your internal organs. Zero to sixty? Let’s just say if you blink, you’ll miss it.
But it’s not all about straight-line speed. The M5 Touring prototype I drove showed impressive poise through the twisty bits too. The adaptive suspension does an admirable job of keeping the car level, defying the laws of physics that say something this big and heavy shouldn’t be able to corner this well. It’s not quite as nimble as its sedan counterpart, but it’s not far off.
Of course, all this performance comes at a price, and I’m not just talking about the eye-watering figure that’s likely to be on the window sticker when this beast hits showrooms. The fuel economy… well, let’s just say if you’re concerned about the price of petrol, this probably isn’t the car for you. But then again, if you’re in the market for a 700+ horsepower station wagon, fuel economy is probably pretty low on your list of priorities.
Now, some purists might scoff at the idea of a hybrid system in an M car, but trust me, it works. The electric motor fills in any gaps in the power delivery, resulting in an even more responsive throttle and improved efficiency (relatively speaking, of course). Plus, there’s something oddly satisfying about silently cruising through a residential area in electric-only mode, knowing that at any moment you could unleash holy hell with a prod of your right foot.
As for the looks, well, it’s an M5 Touring. It’s muscular, aggressive, and about as subtle as a sledgehammer. The prototype I drove was still wearing some camouflage, but it couldn’t hide the flared wheel arches, massive air intakes, and quad exhaust pipes. This is a car that looks fast even when it’s standing still.
So, what’s the verdict? Well, if you’re in the market for a car that can haul your kids to school, your dogs to the park, your furniture from IKEA, and still set blistering lap times at the Nürburgring, the new BMW M5 Touring might just be the car for you. It’s excessive, it’s ridiculous, and it’s absolutely brilliant.
Just one word of advice – if you do end up buying one, maybe invest in some driving lessons first. With great power comes great responsibility, and all that. Oh, and maybe start hitting the gym. With 2.5 tonnes to lug around, you’ll need all the upper body strength you can get for those tight parking maneuvers.
Brace yourselves indeed, folks. The BMW M5 Touring is coming, and it’s bringing a whole new meaning to the term “family car.” Who said practicality had to be boring?
